This Other Life 3-in-1 Sweep

Chapter 3: Every Moment There Are No Days

I learn. Because such is life. Mostly, because I love learning. But what is learning if not sharing?

I learn -because others don’t. Even though they pay me. Even when they don’t.

Learning is not simply a process nor a progress. Surprised? You shouldn’t be. Learning, has erroneously, simplistically and egregiously been implicitly used as a self improvement ‘tool’. It is more than that -and that more is what is feared. I entreat all, that even as inaccurate as what is taught is taught -it terrifies those who can be upended by it -rightfully so~

Learning, I am beaten over the head by so many well intentioned ‘good’ people, is life -experiences; not simply academia. However, as a lover of all knowledge -your disregard for all forms of learning [rather, for the way in which I prefer to learn] insults my core. Being smarter than you, of course ‘experience is the best teacher’ -however, you also asked me what I want to do as a career. This is a career -life, is not. Life is life.

I learn because what I understand, I enjoy. Even if I don’t agree with it. I understand. And that, at its core, is what I am. An understander. Even as ‘Word’ is faulting my use of understander -I shall use it over and over to my heart’s content. In fact, I shall even capitalize it -Understander -for that is my essence.

I learn, because to discover is quite the colonial classification and one we must unpack and unlearn. With the haste of 400years ago. Perhaps more -so says without going.

I acquire -because my nature is hoarding. I gather information like I gather dust. I don’t absorb anything, it’s just there. Moving on.

I cram. And I simultaneously regret but don’t lament that experience. It has taught me I hate the politics behind the school system, yet I can still love EDUCATION!

I learn. Because it’s an opportunity I am afforded that others wish they could have. That they fight to have. For you, I learn and assist your championing for your right to also learn!

I absorb. Except I’m not a sponge so that’s a lie. I rely on muscle memory. Practice, practice, practice!

I realize ~ I am trainable, I can gain skills, I can be enlightened and enlighten others! My realizations are most appreciated by those who appreciate it…while I appreciate the appreciators, I wish those who really need it would learn…but…refer to my second declaration.

I learn. Because for some inexplicable reason, my learnings are not valid unless it is justification. And by justification, approved by a lower ‘objective’ male standard. I would male bash, but only a humble human would recognize that any criticism and critique can be taken, and discarded but that if they are immediately offended, angry and ready to kill someone over it -they perhaps should unexist themselves first.

I study. Because I was a computer before computers were mass produced to the rest of us peons. Putting in the work is rather relaxing. Having something to show is quite validating. Seeing the progression or where I made any mistakes is rather elucidating.

I study. Because I am a student at heart. And fuck everyone who keeps telling me that being a teacher ‘is close enough’; that ‘life is learning’. No shit. And when you have more learning than education perhaps you too, would understand why I want to be a career student. It.is.my.love.

I learn. Because my wisdom knows no bounds. Because…well, because there’s so much to learn and so little time -why not?

I learn -because those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it. But those that change history -or willfully ignore it, nostalgically remembering a more convenient, beneficial era -are the ones who fear learning. Discomfort is an integral part of learning and to live as though it’s not…as a pragmatic person, I have no tolerance or time to educate them. They have made their choice. Others who are more Christ-like and/or unrealistically optimistic may have their fun with that. I myself shall not. I don’t wish ill upon them. But I do wish they would have their own space so they may nostalgic themselves away from our progress. We have not progressed as a species by attempting to include everyone who DOESN’T WISH TO BE PART of a future they don’t foresee themselves as being the sole benefactors of. There is no common ground, no compromising. Leave those lie that wish to be left. Recall that everyone has agency -let that consequence happen upon them -you are not saviors.

So I learn. Because even though politics is not all -all IS politics. A revolution didn’t begin because there were unknowledgeable people who began it -that is what victors would have you believe. So too, empires were not begun by those who didn’t have knowledge.

I learn. Because at the end of it all; knowledge is power. The power to destroy. Whether it be, destroying the mind because it is ‘trivial’ knowledge; or destroying people’s state of being –harassment and constant violent threats; or destroying nations as a temporary ‘peaceful agreement to ceasefire’ –it is also the power to create.

So I write.

Learning is the way to unite cultures -knowledge, a way to understand and connect. Knowledge is creative, not simply factual. Facts have not built lasting friendships. Facts have little to do with revolutions. Facts have not created unbreakable bonds. Though facts are necessary, it has been used more as a fire to burn bridges. Facts.are.not.the.answer. It does not inspire a people to do more to help each other. It is ‘unmotivational’. I, too love facts. But I know where its uses lie the most efficient in.

I learn. Because un-learning is hard. But it is something that is also necessary. I love the challenge. I hate it. But I love it. That is all.

I learn. Because it is a quiet endeavor for a chaotic mind. It is also something I can do on my own even when…even though I’ve tried so hard to find a Teacher. Every question I ask is rebuffed with ‘look it up on your own.’ And this before google was available. Now, I find myself saying to self-victimized potential ‘students’ to level up (aka google it) if they wish to continue conversing with me. I feel horrible about it. And I have no sympathy for the most part. Whereas, as long as you have access to a wealth of information, you CAN (must) peruse it before even ‘debating’ me with your alternative facts -but were it pre-internet or you don’t have easy access to information, I would try to lay off the snark. THAT YOU HAVE ACCESS TO A WEALTH OF INFORMATION -I am led to believe you simply don’t have the literacy and/or critical thinking skills required to sift through a shit ton of information at your disposal.

I learn. Because I simultaneously love and hate the internet. We have a wealth of information but a deficit in all skills. Critical thinking skills and manual labor skills and basic human-to-human skills. Humans are NOT worse than robots or AI but this technological consumptive--over-reliant world would have you believe it [that you are].

I don’t want to talk to you. Especially if you ask me questions you’re unwilling to research and even less willing to hear even though you claim you’re just ‘asking an innocent question.’ There are no such things as an ‘innocent’ question. But there Are such things as stupid questions. So I listen. So you can continue burying yourself in self-pity, self-victimization and self-ignorance.