This Other Life, Six and Counting

Chapter 6: Nothing New, Nothing to Learn

The title says it all. The end. Next chapter. Well…you can read the next chapter. I myself will still have to complete this chapter since I (always finish what I start, even if eventually) had already begun. There’s always something to learn. Unless you’re refusing to learn in which case…

I review.

Because not everything is applied. Not everything is applicable. The learning is the nuance. The learning is discerning the nuance. Spewing nice platitudes or semi-confusing shzzzzzz impresses other pseudo-intellects.
Don’t think about that too much.

Let us rewind.

Because regurgitating what I’ve seen. What I’ve heard. What I’ve practiced. Is well and good and all. But what did we learn?

I think. Therefore, I’m confused. Confused as to how you believe what you even mentally exercise is remotely close to logic? Do we not operate under the same cultural influences? Apparently not. It’s not as though we don’t share the same language. Not as though we weren’t reached by the same influencers. Except.

Where experiences are indeed DIRECTLY the control by which no matter whether we’re in the same class or not; the same generation or not -we simply will never be on the same page in history. Heck. I may not even be in the book. Although I am the author. Hell, some enterprising, usually ~ mostly male, may even take it upon themselves to explain my book to me. How…kind

Of disparaging and disrespectful and any and all other ‘d’ words I cannot think of for lack of energy, insert here. Unless it’s dick. That being the case, keep it to yourself, you brood-mare. Fight me. Rather, don’t. You are the destroyer, and rather a tiring troupe in and of itself. Silence is only golden when we [are not the ones who] don’t demand it of you.

Oh, but who are my audience, indeed?

So, I re-examine. But this kind of obsessing over the past is what brought me my troubles to begin with. So, now to get at the heart of the matter. Your existence is futile. But I’ll bite. Here now -so what? So we work together not to my consternation or our eventual destruction but in spite of it.

To self-reflect. I know it’s difficult without centering yourself, but do try. Otherwise. If not…what have you really learned except how to build more walls [fences] than bridges? How to light fires to burn those bridges yet not [using them as] light? Sharing your light does not diminish you. [But sharing light…] It doesn’t make you ‘stronger’. Is that what you are fearful of? How do you ‘lose’ yourself if you are so invaluable as to not have quantifiable worth yet enough of a quantifier as to be able to ‘lose’ some aspect of yourself?

If it’s one thing that I’m content to fail at, it’s in understanding your world-view. It’s my pleasure to help you but I’m not at all pained to let you go if you continue to destroy the hard-works of those of us attempting to keep the world together [or doing the works that will continue/prosper the world]. Of those of us upon whose backs the world profits off -that if you are determined to undermine and destroy, don’t even entertain the thought that I should be including you in my humanity, a monster that expects much will be met with utmost disappointment. There is no conflict, certainly no conflict of interest. You are not my interest. Therefore, not my conflict.

You don’t get to twist my words and use my actions against me and expect me to embrace you into the folds of humanity. Life is too short to not move on from mistakes that cannot be learned from or solved. Take that for what you will. You will anyway.

Still not my concern.

I won’t wish you ill, if that’s all that troubles you. However, you step over the line, expect pushback to your coasting on the status quo. Know there will be resistance. Expect a force so hellish against your insistence upon dismantling good works that you would WISH you could understand what love means. What empathy means. Why the world, as fleeting as it is -is beautiful and well worth preserving and renewing. To not talk about such things…that’s why we create. You cannot silence what is truth.

Reconsider purity. Purest expressions and feelings are part of life and rather necessary. As adults. It is the proper response. [However,] Just not culturally appropriate. Yet, even as one should be child-like, one needs to be mature like adults: go through your feelings but not stay in that place. Growth needs to happen. But there’s this misunderstanding about what growth is. Yes, the process is important but that process is oftentimes violent and intense. Why would the process need to be so vehemently aggressive? Because of those who refuse to change. Who fight the process [as well] but want the benefits of the change. Who want the end-result of change but don’t really want to develop to get that end-result and maintain it. So many struggle against change because of the erroneous view of identity: that there is something about you that persists through time. And if it is a thing that persists, it must therefore be an unchanging thing. However -as physical beings dealing in a physical existence -change is not only inevitable but necessary socially! An instance bear-rages my mind: if one never changes, imperialism wouldn’t be so alluring...to destroy. It’s a system that’s [whose] time has come. Is long overdue. On a more microcosmic illustration: any and all microaggressions women [especially of color] face. Because and only because of the twisted interpretation of a notion that men are the head, natural leaders over all. As that is a preconceived fancy, I have one as well: that ‘over all’ was internal-overtly expressed-taught-and-re-internalized but the original concept was changed. With ease and effortlessness, abusing power is the true natural logical intertwined progression of *Original sin. For wanting to blame women, there’s the subconscious, suppressed rage of wanting to subjugate women because of [his] own jealous insecurities. It has never changed over history because without wanting to self-reflect and change destruction ensued. The natural evolution of men cannot exist without women -but they still wish to hold on to the belief that men are the head over women -both religious and irreligious.

And that they Believe they should be the head -they hold on to a preconceived notion that there is benefit to marriage: males won’t marry because women are no longer women. The concept of MANhood is so weak that they must describe themselves as what they are Not [Because it’s rather pitiful to not realize you can’t create something out of nothing: your being can not be created out of a negative -but what do I know~]. The characteristics used to describe *males aren’t true opposite to what a woman IS. And to remind you rather late in the game -I use males to indicate #notallmen. You’re welcome.

And so what if women are no longer ‘women’? You are no longer a ‘man’ since you did not hold down a job -since you cannot provide for her or for her children yet to be born. So if she is ‘a woman’ and does everything you say but you are still unhappy, you have wasted her life. YOU are the reason ‘women are no longer women’. Women have figured out/are figuring out our worth. We are reclaiming.our.time. YOU haven’t figured out your worth so you attempt to make women worth LESS.

When you don’t hold others accountable, you indeed do not DESERVE to be head over all. Lead yourself first. Fire-brand Atheists don’t like religions but don’t hesitate to continue enacting it at its worst. Especially [white] males. I will say this until you’re blue in the face [since blue lives matter *dated by the time I write this hopefully -most likely not. That’s what’s so great about time, I suppose]: it doesn’t matter what you hide behind -when your intrinsic nature is [shit], philosophies or belief systems aren’t going to save everyone from you. In fact, that you believe you should be controlling everyone else except for yourself is the singular reason why all systems had [collapsed] and will [continue to] fail. You project what you think about yourself thus it’s impossible to [not just believe but] see or even attempt to change the macrocosm. It’s why you are content to change and address the symptoms but not the root cause.

What’s worse is that you don’t see the problem with language. Words are power and that you don’t 1) keep your promises 2) see how damaging it is 3) are aware and[/but] use it purposefully as such while claiming that you don’t [the most contemptible and worst attitude and action you do] needs to change. Enlightenment only gets you to realize that but what you do with that enlightenment is the proof of whether or not that enlightenment is (true) stable (enduring). It’s not enough to justify your ~failings~ teaching as pearls before swine because not all are swine and not all your truths are pearls. A mark of enlightenment is the ability to live it out and share among peoples -not something to control others’ way of thinking or even as leverage to make others prove their deserve-ability of your enlightenment. It is to say that if yours is truth, it is recognized by more than the sum that physically search for it. After all, isn’t it the timing that’s important and not simply the method by which you’ve concluded such truth/s?

So I wind back. Not ‘nostalgic’ for ‘the good old days. There were never any of those. What good is ‘winding back’ if all time is, is a repetition of itself? If it’s not a ‘continuum’, it’s no wonder humans insist on separating it as mere collection points to document and collect dust. If it’s not a continuum, no wonder humans insist upon claiming what they would do to change ‘x’ so that it would not happen again. If time is not a continuum, no wonder humans persist on the assertion that ‘every-day is a brand new day’!

I wind back…because did I not tell you that words are fun to play with? But do I not also illustrate the point of how fruitless and futile and impractical thoughts can be when using certain words? Thinking is important whether logically, abstractly or creatively.

So I press on.